We accept the love we think we deserve

Who are you? If someone asked you to define yourself, what would your answer be? Are you defined by the things you love or are you defined by the people who love you? Much too often, women allow themselves to be defined by the men they are with.

Being too dependent on others to love us makes it incredibly hard to be happy with ourselves. This is probably because most young women are afraid of being alone. The fear of not having someone to count on or to make us happy when we need it causes us girls to lose sight of who we are without a man by our side.

That’s when bad habits develop. We become tolerant of the unhealthy ways we are being treated. We get used to being treated badly because we don’t think we deserve any better. The truth is we do deserve better. We deserve nothing less than the best. And we do not need a man to give that to us.

Why are so many women afraid of being alone? What’s so wrong with giving ourselves the love we deserve instead of expecting that love from someone else who isn’t fully capable of giving us that. When we finally allow ourselves to let go of something that no longer serves as a healthy purpose, we allow ourselves to realize our capabilities and just how much we deserve.

We try to make ourselves smaller so that we can fit into the live of our significant others. We act a certain way, talk in a certain way, dress a certain way. And for what? To ensure that our boyfriends continue to like us? We need to stop changing our ways so that we can be loved by others. We don’t have to limit ourselves to all that we are.

We need to combine everything that we are into one big powerful expression. We need to choose our intellectual side. Choose our sexual side. Choose our emotional side. Choose our spiritual side. Choose it all and don’t apologize for any of it.

We don’t need to make ourselves smaller in order to make someone else feel bigger. Stop letting people who are too small-minded to comprehend all that we are make us feel any less than powerful.
We don’t have to be afraid of being alone. It allows us to fully see who we are and what we deserve. It allows us to take a step back from loving someone else so much and love ourselves that much and more instead. It allows us to realize the kind of love that we deserve.